Come One, Come All...
It's a freak show out there.
Saturday night I had a night out on the town with the girls. There was Heather, "A."," N.", "S.", and myself (they're just getting initials because I don't intend to write about them again... I'm afraid of running out of fake names). The plan was to have dinner at Red Lobster, then go to the beer tent at the local Polish festival, then we would be off to Midland Street for some dancing (maybe... I'm typically not a dancer).
Before I left, I sent a text message to my friend "Richard." He's always wanting to meet up with me if I'm out, so I thought I'd offer. Correction. He's always trying to get me drunk so I'll sleep with him, though I have assured him that he will never be successful because I know him too well. Any of you who were reading my former blog in November last year might remember him as the friend I was babysitting for and his estranged-yet-live-in girlfriend (not the baby-mama) came home when we were watching a movie. Anyway... I digress.
So, I met Heather at Red Lobster at 7:00. A. has a bad habit of always running behind, so we joked that we should have told her 6:30. Sure enough, when Heather called her as we were being seated, we found that A. was just doing her hair, and since N. was riding with her, she would also be late. S. wasn't much better as she was just leaving her house. Luckily, we had a very entertaining waiter who kept us stocked in iced tea and appetizers while we waited. First A. and N. arrived, then S., so we were ready to order, but A. had to make a snide comment along the lines of, "It would be nice if we could ever order."
Freak #1=A. Like she had any place criticizing anyone else for being slow.
Dinner went well and we were just getting ready to head out when I noticed that I had missed a call from Richard. I called him back and learned that he was already at the beer tent and that I should look for him when we got there. A. and N. went on ahead as the rest of us went back to Heather's apartment so that we only had to find one parking spot rather than three.
Richard was very anxious to see me as he called me repeatedly on the way there, but the beer tent was packed and I couldn't find him anywhere. When I finally did, I realized that he was feeling no pain. He had spent the day drinking at the River Roar, then continued at the beer tent. We stood and chatted for quite some time, and Heather and S. even managed to find us, at which point Richard began to leer at S. I understand this, as S. is much hotter than she will allow herself to believe. She looks a lot like Sarah Jessica Parker. But the fact that Richard would stare at her, then whisper something letcherous in my ear was a little difficult to stand. Oh, but it gets better. Just as my girls and I were getting ready to go wander again, who should appear with a fresh beer for Richard, but H., his aformentioned girlfriend. You know, the one he has been trying to get to move out for over a year. The one that he swears realizes that they aren't really together anymore. The one who walked in on the two of us cuddled together on the couch as we watched a movie a few months ago. Yeah, that one.
We bolted to the other side of the beer tent in search of A. and N. I sent Richard a text message of "U R such an ASS." He called me immediately to ask why (duh!), then asked me to "Hook [him] up with [my] hot blonde friend." I told him that I would prefer to keep her friendship.
Freak #2 and #3=Richard and his girlfriend. Him for so many reasons. Her for staying with him even though she's got to know what he's really like.
The rest of the time at the beer tent was relatively uneventful, with the possible exception of having to wait for-freaking-ever for A. to get done talking to her ex-boyfriend. So off we went to Midland St.
After entering at Lucky's and moving into Westown ($5 cover charge! Are you freakin' kidding me?), we found ourselves shifted off to the side where we could watch the action. This is where Heather and I (neither of us are huge fans of dancing) like to pick out the biggest dorks in the bar. Usually it's some guy who is at least 55, but that night we also had one with a sweatshirt tied around his waist. I guess you had to see it.
A group of guys walked by Heather, S. and I, but one of them literally stared at me as he passed. It was unnerving. After he passed, I shifted my gaze to Heather where we exchanged looks of amazement. And then he came back. And he growled at me. Yes, I mean it. He growled at me.
Freak #4=Guy who growled at me. Enough said.
And then we get to the point of the evening when S. started to get all pissy because we weren't dancing. S. loves to dance. I see it as an illness. Finally A. and N. took her out to the dance floor so she could dance. But the really great part came later when she complained about how many black people were in the club. Loudly. Several times. Heather and I wanted to pretend we didn't know her.
Freak #5=S. for whining when she doesn't get to dance, then complains about the diverse crowd on the dance floor.
*sigh* I think I'm getting too old for that world.
Saturday night I had a night out on the town with the girls. There was Heather, "A."," N.", "S.", and myself (they're just getting initials because I don't intend to write about them again... I'm afraid of running out of fake names). The plan was to have dinner at Red Lobster, then go to the beer tent at the local Polish festival, then we would be off to Midland Street for some dancing (maybe... I'm typically not a dancer).
Before I left, I sent a text message to my friend "Richard." He's always wanting to meet up with me if I'm out, so I thought I'd offer. Correction. He's always trying to get me drunk so I'll sleep with him, though I have assured him that he will never be successful because I know him too well. Any of you who were reading my former blog in November last year might remember him as the friend I was babysitting for and his estranged-yet-live-in girlfriend (not the baby-mama) came home when we were watching a movie. Anyway... I digress.
So, I met Heather at Red Lobster at 7:00. A. has a bad habit of always running behind, so we joked that we should have told her 6:30. Sure enough, when Heather called her as we were being seated, we found that A. was just doing her hair, and since N. was riding with her, she would also be late. S. wasn't much better as she was just leaving her house. Luckily, we had a very entertaining waiter who kept us stocked in iced tea and appetizers while we waited. First A. and N. arrived, then S., so we were ready to order, but A. had to make a snide comment along the lines of, "It would be nice if we could ever order."
Freak #1=A. Like she had any place criticizing anyone else for being slow.
Dinner went well and we were just getting ready to head out when I noticed that I had missed a call from Richard. I called him back and learned that he was already at the beer tent and that I should look for him when we got there. A. and N. went on ahead as the rest of us went back to Heather's apartment so that we only had to find one parking spot rather than three.
Richard was very anxious to see me as he called me repeatedly on the way there, but the beer tent was packed and I couldn't find him anywhere. When I finally did, I realized that he was feeling no pain. He had spent the day drinking at the River Roar, then continued at the beer tent. We stood and chatted for quite some time, and Heather and S. even managed to find us, at which point Richard began to leer at S. I understand this, as S. is much hotter than she will allow herself to believe. She looks a lot like Sarah Jessica Parker. But the fact that Richard would stare at her, then whisper something letcherous in my ear was a little difficult to stand. Oh, but it gets better. Just as my girls and I were getting ready to go wander again, who should appear with a fresh beer for Richard, but H., his aformentioned girlfriend. You know, the one he has been trying to get to move out for over a year. The one that he swears realizes that they aren't really together anymore. The one who walked in on the two of us cuddled together on the couch as we watched a movie a few months ago. Yeah, that one.
We bolted to the other side of the beer tent in search of A. and N. I sent Richard a text message of "U R such an ASS." He called me immediately to ask why (duh!), then asked me to "Hook [him] up with [my] hot blonde friend." I told him that I would prefer to keep her friendship.
Freak #2 and #3=Richard and his girlfriend. Him for so many reasons. Her for staying with him even though she's got to know what he's really like.
The rest of the time at the beer tent was relatively uneventful, with the possible exception of having to wait for-freaking-ever for A. to get done talking to her ex-boyfriend. So off we went to Midland St.
After entering at Lucky's and moving into Westown ($5 cover charge! Are you freakin' kidding me?), we found ourselves shifted off to the side where we could watch the action. This is where Heather and I (neither of us are huge fans of dancing) like to pick out the biggest dorks in the bar. Usually it's some guy who is at least 55, but that night we also had one with a sweatshirt tied around his waist. I guess you had to see it.
A group of guys walked by Heather, S. and I, but one of them literally stared at me as he passed. It was unnerving. After he passed, I shifted my gaze to Heather where we exchanged looks of amazement. And then he came back. And he growled at me. Yes, I mean it. He growled at me.
Freak #4=Guy who growled at me. Enough said.
And then we get to the point of the evening when S. started to get all pissy because we weren't dancing. S. loves to dance. I see it as an illness. Finally A. and N. took her out to the dance floor so she could dance. But the really great part came later when she complained about how many black people were in the club. Loudly. Several times. Heather and I wanted to pretend we didn't know her.
Freak #5=S. for whining when she doesn't get to dance, then complains about the diverse crowd on the dance floor.
*sigh* I think I'm getting too old for that world.
posted by Charlie at 6:10 PM
1 Comments:
I am SO too old for that world. Ick. I thank my lucky stars every day that I am "done."
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