Heartbreak
Ever have a friend that you just don't know how to help?
I do.
She's one of my best friends and I love her dearly, but I'm just at a loss. It's getting to the point that I never call her because I know it's just going to be another conversation about the same thing.
She has this ex-boyfriend. She's still in love with him. Why, I don't understand at all because he's an incredible asshole to her. She even knows he's an incredible asshole to her, but she thinks she's done some mysterious, unknown thing wrong that has caused him to be an asshole to her. I can't seem to make her understand that, no matter how much he loved her (or claimed to love her) at one point, it is possible that he's just an asshole and she hasn't done anything to make him that way.
All I can do is listen and be sympathetic. Luckily, she knows that I'm not a person who knows all the right things to say when someone is in pain, so she doesn't expect anything more than that from me. But I still feel horrible for her and I wish there was some way I could make her see that, not only is it not her fault that he treats her like he does, but she's never going to be happy until she simply moves on with her life. I know it's not easy, but that's what she's got to do. And I know it's easier said than done, but we've all been there and have had to do it at some point.
And I can't help but be a little selfish. She'll never know I feel this way, but I do. I called her today on my way home from class. I'd had a pretty good day... got my work done for class, found out I got a 4.0 on my midterm, bought my cap and gown for graduation... and wanted to share. But instead we had a 35 minute conversation about the jerk. Just like every other conversation we have.
I hate what he's done to her. And what she's done to herself. I want my friend back.
I do.
She's one of my best friends and I love her dearly, but I'm just at a loss. It's getting to the point that I never call her because I know it's just going to be another conversation about the same thing.
She has this ex-boyfriend. She's still in love with him. Why, I don't understand at all because he's an incredible asshole to her. She even knows he's an incredible asshole to her, but she thinks she's done some mysterious, unknown thing wrong that has caused him to be an asshole to her. I can't seem to make her understand that, no matter how much he loved her (or claimed to love her) at one point, it is possible that he's just an asshole and she hasn't done anything to make him that way.
All I can do is listen and be sympathetic. Luckily, she knows that I'm not a person who knows all the right things to say when someone is in pain, so she doesn't expect anything more than that from me. But I still feel horrible for her and I wish there was some way I could make her see that, not only is it not her fault that he treats her like he does, but she's never going to be happy until she simply moves on with her life. I know it's not easy, but that's what she's got to do. And I know it's easier said than done, but we've all been there and have had to do it at some point.
And I can't help but be a little selfish. She'll never know I feel this way, but I do. I called her today on my way home from class. I'd had a pretty good day... got my work done for class, found out I got a 4.0 on my midterm, bought my cap and gown for graduation... and wanted to share. But instead we had a 35 minute conversation about the jerk. Just like every other conversation we have.
I hate what he's done to her. And what she's done to herself. I want my friend back.
posted by Charlie at 8:36 PM
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