*Sigh*
I got an invitation to a baby shower today. I knew it was coming. I really should go, but it would require a trip to Mom and Dad's in a few weeks. But that's not the real reason I don't know if I want to go.
The shower is for my 19 year old nephew and his girlfriend.
That's right. A child whose diapers I used to change and who I babysat on a regular basis is having a baby before me.
It seemed weird when my neice started having children, but at least she is only four years younger than me. I was 13 when C. was born.
Yeah, I look at the positives of my situation over his. C. is a high school drop out who has served time in jail for forging checks from his mother's account. He is currently living with said girlfriend at her parents' house. I have no idea what his employment status is. He and his girlfriend are not going to have an easy time in life.
Whereas I have two degrees, a well-paying job, a nice car, my own home, and the world's best cat and dog. And yet, I lack the things that would really make life complete... no relationship... no children.
Honestly, I could live without the relationship. I've done it this long and I can see no reason why I couldn't be fairly happy without a man in my life. But the kids... I ache to have a child. I know the stigma of unwed motherhood is long past (and without a doubt gone from my own family), but I just don't know how it might be in my chosen profession. I know that my employer can't legally penalize me for having a child if I'm not married, but I also know the sneaky, back-stabbing administration that I work under. I can see them making life difficult for me.
And, while probably a third to half of my students were born outside a marriage (particularly considering the community) and won't see any issue with it, there are numerous "high and mighty" families as well that are likely to throw a fit. Again, I can't be legally penalized, but I could see it getting messy.
Oh, and I seem to be lacking a key ingredient. Of course, that can be purchased, but dealing with a teenager one day will likely be difficult enough. Dealing with a teenager who has no clue who Daddy is will probably be that much worse.
No answers here. As for the shower, I suppose if all else fails, I can always order a gift online and have it shipped.
The shower is for my 19 year old nephew and his girlfriend.
That's right. A child whose diapers I used to change and who I babysat on a regular basis is having a baby before me.
It seemed weird when my neice started having children, but at least she is only four years younger than me. I was 13 when C. was born.
Yeah, I look at the positives of my situation over his. C. is a high school drop out who has served time in jail for forging checks from his mother's account. He is currently living with said girlfriend at her parents' house. I have no idea what his employment status is. He and his girlfriend are not going to have an easy time in life.
Whereas I have two degrees, a well-paying job, a nice car, my own home, and the world's best cat and dog. And yet, I lack the things that would really make life complete... no relationship... no children.
Honestly, I could live without the relationship. I've done it this long and I can see no reason why I couldn't be fairly happy without a man in my life. But the kids... I ache to have a child. I know the stigma of unwed motherhood is long past (and without a doubt gone from my own family), but I just don't know how it might be in my chosen profession. I know that my employer can't legally penalize me for having a child if I'm not married, but I also know the sneaky, back-stabbing administration that I work under. I can see them making life difficult for me.
And, while probably a third to half of my students were born outside a marriage (particularly considering the community) and won't see any issue with it, there are numerous "high and mighty" families as well that are likely to throw a fit. Again, I can't be legally penalized, but I could see it getting messy.
Oh, and I seem to be lacking a key ingredient. Of course, that can be purchased, but dealing with a teenager one day will likely be difficult enough. Dealing with a teenager who has no clue who Daddy is will probably be that much worse.
No answers here. As for the shower, I suppose if all else fails, I can always order a gift online and have it shipped.
posted by Charlie at 9:45 PM
1 Comments:
I know that ache. R and I tried for 8 years to have M. She was well worth the wait, but it killed us every month to not be pregnant. You'll know when the time is right what you want to do, with or without the relationship.
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