So Much to Say

Okay, I admit it. I've been a bad blogger. I have excuses, mostly lame, some not. Mainly I've just been lazy. I've also not wanted to talk about some of the things occupying my thoughts. Which didn't really leave me with much interesting stuff to talk about.

M.'s death last month hit me hard. As hard as it hit me, I can't even imagine what it's been like for his family and close friends. I've been in closer contact with some people we had in common and I plan to stop and visit with his mom and dad when I am home for Easter in a couple of weeks. His death has also caused me to do some evaluation of my life. One of those "life is too short" realizations has spurred me to move ahead with a decision that I've been putting off for years.

And that decision is the one that I'm not going to discuss with the blogosphere just yet. The people who are closest to me in my real life know what it is and have been overwhelmingly supportive. Hopefully I will be in a position someday soon to talk about that decision here, but for now it needs to remain private.

Work has been tumultuous. Our district offered an early retirement incentive as a cost-cutting measure which was accepted by eight teachers. So everyday is about conjecture as we discuss what positions will be be replaced and who might potentially be moving into those positions. I've also had some inside information (that I'm not supposed to know about) that my media position might not be secure, so that has also caused some stress. Thanks to seniority, I'm not in danger of not having a job or anything, but there's a chance I will be back in a classroom next year. That doesn't bother me as much as thinking about what that change will do to the media program. I know I've only been in charge of it for two years, but I already feel such ownership over it and hate to think of what will likely happen to it without support.

I'm working on streamlining my life, particularly my home. I have way too much "stuff" that I simply don't need, or at least I don't need it on a daily basis. So I'm in the process of making some decisions about what needs to go into a garage sale or to charity and what could potentially end up in a storage facility. If I only had a basement...

I'm also trying to get back into working out and watching what I'm eating. I was doing pretty well with exercise until I went to New Orleans back in January and lost my momentum. I've also been hovering about the same weight for the last couple of months after taking off about five pounds right after the holidays. I still need to take off about twenty more to get back to where I was in the fall of '07, which was my lowest weight. I made it to the gym both yesterday and today, which is a start, but I'm usually so tired after work during the week that I never want to go. Hopefully I will have established the beginnings of a habit this weekend that will continue into the week. I know I won't make it on Thursday because we have conferences, but maybe that can be my goal... if I go Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I know I get to take Thursday off!

Well, it's a start.

NaBloPo... NO!

In case you hadn't figured it out already, I am NOT participating in NaBloPoMo this year. I did it the last two years, and I'm pretty proud to say that I completed it successfully, but both years it was downright sad by the end. As sparse as my posting has been over the past few months, I don't think I want to subject myself or anyone else to what I might be forced to post about if I attempted it.

Instead I'm trying to get through the week. Tomorrow and Thursday are parent-teacher conferences and my book fair is going on as well. We've done fairly well so far. Better than I would have expected, in fact, considering the state of the economy. We haven't reached the ultimate goal yet, of course, but there are still two evenings of parents being in the building. Historically, those are my biggest sale days anyway, so I still have hope.

I'm also going to be out of my classroom the next two days. I'm attending a conference as a district representative. It's really not all that exciting, but I don't want to give any more details that could compromise my anonymity. It just shows what a long way things have come since the Great Internet Witch Hunt of '06.

My sister came to visit this past weekend. She needed a little change of scenery and an opportunity to get away from her husband for a couple of days. It was nice to see her, but a little weird. "Jane" and I are six years apart in age, which is practically nothing now that we are older, but we've never been particularly close and I think she's always seen me as her little sister. It was kind of odd to be on equal footing with her.

Now I'm just looking forward to a nice three day weekend (no school Friday due to conferences this week) when I plan to become reacquainted with my bed.

Makes Me Wonder

I was visited today by a book vendor that we've done business with for several years. He's a super nice guy and is usually able to cut me some pretty good deals on books we purchase from him. Today my aide asked him about a series of books that I was already planning on buying from another vendor, so I was a little annoyed at first. But then I told him I had a quote from this other company and he assured me that he could beat it. And he did.

He then proceeded to give me a great deal on the other books I was looking at ordering through him and he threw in a free book on the order (as he usually does).

As he was starting to pack up, he handed me a Halloween book as an additional freebie.

We continued to chat while he loaded books back into his containers and I ran into my office to make sure that I had received his emails with the quotes. When I returned to the table, he handed me yet another free book that I had been looking at.

I thanked him profusely as he was on his way, but I was left wondering...

Exactly how much are books marked up that our book vendor is able to give me such great discounts, beat competitors quotes, throw free books in on the orders, and still hand me two more free books as he goes out the door?

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Another month has flown by, but this time I can't say that a whole heck of a lot has happened. It's been just back to work as usual. The year is going well so far. There haven't been any particularly notable events, either good or bad, as of yet. I think I like things that way.

On the home front, I still haven't finished my kitchen. I really thought I'd get started on the trim work this weekend, but I spent all day yesterday working in the yard and today was a house cleaning day. Two weekends ago I was laid out on the couch with the flu and last weekend my folks were at a local antique tractor show, so I went to visit them. I think next weekend is still open, so maybe that will be my chance.

The fur children are adjusting to me being back to work. I think that getting Eddie was very good for Copper. She is no longer confined at all when I'm not home and she doesn't even cry nearly as much when I leave. Eddie, on the other hand, must be confined still, at least for long periods. I've left him out of the crate for an hour or two and he's usually okay, although I sometimes find the recliner tipped over in front of the front door when I return. And sometimes my slippers go for walks. It's very mysterious.

Off to bed. Another exciting week begins tomorrow.

Pissed

Some degenerate child stole between $80 and $100 in fine/lost book money from my desk drawer inside my office today.

Yes, I realized I should not have had that much money in there and when I realized yesterday that there were at least three $20 bills and a whole bunch of fives, I made a mental note to get it turned in. But by the time I got around to doing just that after lunch today, all that was left was a handful of ones.

We're sure it was a two-person (at least) job, but don't know how it could have been premeditated as it was completely random that my office was left unlocked and unattended for a mere three to five minutes today. I had run to a teacher's classroom while my aide was at lunch. I thought it would be okay to leave the office open as my student aide was working on a project at one of the tables. And no, I can't even consider the possibility that it was the student aide as she is a model of honesty and trustworthiness.

I just can't imagine a kid of 13 years or less having the balls to steal that kind of money from the school. What is this world coming to?

Fraud

I feel a little like a thief today.

I bought a book at Barnes and Noble on Monday, read it last night, and returned it today.

This week is educator appreciation week at Barnes and Noble, so I used the extra discount (25% as opposed to the typical 20%) to pick up a few new titles for the library. One of these titles was Prey, the lastest book by Lurlene McDaniel. I had personally never read one of McDaniel's books, but they practically fly off the shelves in the library. I don't really understand it, as just reading the titles (such as Mother, Please Don't Die, Too Young to Die, and Telling Christina Goodbye) kind of makes me want to either kill myself or drink heavily. But I digress.

Reading the book jacket of Prey intrigued me, hinting that the story might contain an inappropriate relationship between a high school freshman and his history teacher. I checked the reviews online, and found that it was recommended for ages 12-18, so I figured I was safe. I might have to limit it to just 8th graders, but that is nothing unusual. However, something told me to read the book myself before we processed it. I decided that, if it was too edgy, we might just hand it off to the high school library.

I'm so glad I read it first.

Prey was a real page-turner. I read it cover to cover in about four hours and I was fixated the entire time. But I knew by the time I was halfway through the book that it would NOT be going in my library. I'm not even sure if I would have put it in a high school library given my penchant for stirring up trouble (which is why I didn't send it over to them).

While none of the scenes are graphic, Ryan and his teacher, Lori, carry on a sexual relationship throughout the majority of a school year. While they are ultimately revealed and Lori is convicted, neither character shows any remorse and the final chapter leaves the reader wondering who the "bad guy" really is.

Don't get me wrong. I really liked this book. I recommend it highly... to adults. But you will not find it on the shelf of my school library, which is why I could not justify spending school funds on it and I had to return it. I feel a little bad that I read a book, then returned it, but I'm sure that Barnes and Noble will see me spend that money in their store again.

Evaluation Day

I got an email from Principal yesterday regarding the classroom observation he is hoping to do next week... nevermind that said observation should have been done a good six weeks ago (evaluations are supposed to be on file by March 15 or something like that). This isn't something I'm stressed over, but no one really likes to be observed, so I was griping about mentioning this to "Erin," my library aide. I was explaining how probationary teachers are supposed to have two evaluations per year (with two observations per evaluation) and tenured teachers (such as myself) have one evaluation every three years (I was observed once already this year... in about October).

"Geez," Erin commented. "I get evaluated every dang year!"

"Wow," I sympathized. Then, "Who evaluates you, anyway?"

"You do," she replied.

YIKES!

Coincidentally enough, Principal delivered Erin's evaluation papers to me this morning and asked me to fill them out.

Erin is fabulous and I don't know how I would have survived the year without her to run the place while I'm in the classroom and teach me all the systems we use in the library. She certainly has nothing to worry about with her evaluation.

But it still blows my mind that, after all that I went through in that place two years ago, I am now considered someone's boss and have to evaluate her.

I'll Take Random for 500, Alex

Seeing as it's been nearly four weeks since I wrote a post of any substance, I thought it might be time. The days have been packed, so there's lots to report on.

• My movie viewing has dried up since Spring Break got over and the new shows have begun again. In fact, I think that all I've watched since I made my last list are the three titles I had sitting here at that time. I have three more waiting for me now (Elizabeth, The Sixth Sense, and The Bourne Supremacy), but haven't gotten around to watching them.
• I'm a really lousy friend. Drew has been in Iraq since December, and I've only sent him a couple of care packages. I've been promising to send more cookies since late March, but still haven't gotten to it. You'd think, with all the sacrifices that men and women like him are doing, I could find an hour to bake some cookies.
• The stressful television situation at work finally worked out. A huge thanks goes out to Ryan at Best Buy for Business for his patience and coordinating pickup at five Best Buy stores. I had to do a lot of driving, but I was able to borrow a truck from a co-worker, use school time to do it, and I was paid mileage... very important with gas prices as high as they are!
• I'm back to counting points for Weight Watchers again. I've put on nearly 20 pounds this school year. I need to lose at least 10 of them just to comfortably wear my summer clothes again, so I figured I better start now.
• Next year's master schedule is all but finalized and I am scheduled for the media center full-time. I am so excited about this prospect that I'm still not allowing myself to fully believe it. No more papers to grade... Ten more hours a week to do the full-time job I am currently trying to do in only 20 hours. While I'm sure I'll still bring work home on occasion, it should be the exception, not the rule.
• I took Copper to the dog park yesterday for the first visit of the year. She gets very excited with we first pull in the parking area and get out of the car, but as soon as we are in the actual park, she gets very intimidated by the other dogs. She's usually the smallest dog there, so I think that she thinks they are ganging up on her. She prefers to hang around the people. Not necessarily me... she does socialize, it's just with people, not dogs!
• Coal's birthday was two days ago. I can't believe he's 10 years old. He's been with me for the majority of my adult life and it's hard to believe all the things that have changed (and not changed) in that time.
• I paid my Jeep off two months ago with my income tax refund. Now that money is going toward credit card debt. I should be debt free (except for student loans and mortgage) in under a year.
• A personal project that I've been planning for may be underway soon. That's all I'm revealing at this point.
• Friday will be the two year anniversary of the MySpace incident. I'm not quite as frazzled as I was last year at this time. It's rather ironic that on Friday I will be attending an information session with district bigwigs because they want my input on a new technology related system for the district.
• In August, I'll also be done paying for the days without pay that I agreed to as a result of the incident. That will free up another chunk of money to put toward the debt payoff. I'm hoping that, at that point, the board will be willing to remove certain paperwork from my file that could make it difficult for me to ever get a job in another district.
• I mowed the lawn for the first time of the year this week. Spring is finally here.
• Only six weeks until summer vacation. Enough said.

Marching On

I was just updating my reading list when I realized that I hadn't posted at all in the month of March. Since March will be over in less than 48 hours, I figured I better do that!

I'm just coming off a week of Spring Break. Ahhh... Spring Break. It was oh so glorious to goof off, sleep in, and watch multiple movies during the ten days I had off. A list:

• Good Luck Chuck
• We are Marshall
• Spiderman 3
• Ocean's Twelve
• Atonement
• Enchanted
• I am Legend
• Sydney White
• August Rush

I still have Becoming Jane, The Bourne Identity (no, I've never seen it), and Miss Potter waiting for me. I think I may finally be getting my money's worth from my Blockbuster subscription. I love that I can return my mail-in movies at the store and get free rentals there for them. I think that makes it a much better deal than NetFlix.

And I just have to say that I LOVED Atonement. I don't know what it was about it, but it was a very striking movie. I do very much enjoy Kiera Knightley, but I know she's not the whole reason it resonated with me so much. I think it was just such a haunting story. Plus, I'm a sucker for anything British. Throw in the World War II time period and I'm hooked.

I even managed to get a little work done over break. I did some housework and a little re-arranging in my computer room. I also went into work one day. I can get so much stuff done when no one else is around to bother me.

But tomorrow it's back to the old grind. Time to report back to reality. But only for ten weeks more. Then next couple of weeks are going to be a bit crazy because my book fair starts Wednesday (should be delivered tomorrow) and goes through Thursday of next week. The marking period ends this week and next week is conferences. By the end of this week I have to spend all the money I have left in my budget, which sounds like fun, but is actually kind of stressful! Then it will only be a few more weeks and we will be shutting down the library so we can do inventory. Other issues along the way include a broken laminating machine and my apparent inablility to buy the TVs that need to be purchased for the school. Every time I go to the store, check in hand, to order them, they are no longer available. It wouldn't be such a big deal if we hadn't already ordered the mounts to attach them to the wall.

Who knew that the most stressful part of my job would involve buying stuff?

Anxiety Over

The arbitration went well. I won't know the outcome for over two months, but my part is done at least. Apparently I rock at testifying. The district's attorney was unable to rattle me or get me to stumble over my answers. That really pissed the bastard off. Union leadership now wants me to take on a leadership role so that I can help negotiate in the future. I so don't want to do that at this point in my life, but I might consider it one day.

And this concludes NaBloPoMo for 2007.

Anxious

I won't be at school tomorrow. At least not in my normal capacity. Which kind of sucks because Friday is my light day when I can usually get some work done.

It sucks for other reasons, too. The reason I'll be gone is that I'll be at the arbitration for my pay scale grievance. This grievance is so stupid I can barely believe it. Everyone who hears about it knows that it's simply another way that someone is trying to screw me. We are fighting over $1000 per year. It is costing $10,000 to take this to arbitration. Tell me that's not stupid.

I wouldn't say I'm really nervous about this because all I can do is state the facts. It's about when I took classes and what I took them for. There is no interpretation of anything I have to say. All the interpretation has to do with the contract itself, so I really have nothing to be nervous about. But, that said, I doubt it's going to be fun to be questioned by the school district's lawyer.

Even after tomorrow is over, it will likely be a few weeks before I hear the outcome. I'll let you know how things go.

MySpace Redux

So the MySpace incident came up during my social studies class yesterday.

Boy, are those kids uninformed. But on the plus side, they are uninformed. They really don't know what it was that I said that got everyone so riled up, so I was able to diffuse the situation pretty quickly. I used it as an opportunity to talk about being careful what you put out there on the Internet and knowing that it may not just be your friends who see it.

Of course, I then had to go do some CYA action with Principal, just in case he heard about the conversation through the grapevine. Particularly since the son of our school board president is in that class. He's a great kid who seems to really like me, but you can't be too careful.

*sigh* Perhaps one day it will stop haunting me.

Playing Hooky

Well, no, not really. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled, so I took my very first sick day of the year. Not bad seeing as we are in the twelfth week. However, if I had realized that Thanksgiving was so early this year, I probably would have made a point to make this appointment a week later when I scheduled it back in July. It seems a little silly to take a day off during a three day week!

Anyway, I had my appointment, then I did a bunch of running around town. I did some shopping and bought a couple of cute tops. I looked at dresses for New Year's Eve, but didn't find anything that grabbed me yet. I'll have to keep looking.

So tomorrow it's back to the grind. I have to miss my first hour class again because of a technology committee meeting, and then we are packing four sixth grade classes into two hours so that they can watch a movie in the afternoon. The good thing about that is that I will then have the afternoon almost entirely free!

Not Ready to Throw In the Towel

Yeah, it's happening again. I'm only posting now because I don't think I'll have any time to post later. I'm leaving in just a couple of minutes to go back to school for an event, then likely over to a friend's house for a bit. Probably won't make it home before midnight.

What's really sad is that I probably won't have time to write much tomorrow, either. Maybe by Sunday I'll have something profound to say.

Slacker

From the files of... oh, crap, I forgot to post today...

Spent most of tonight grading tests. Very exciting, I know.

Lots of buzz at work about a big figure potentially leaving. We should get so lucky. We'll know for sure next week. Let's hope we have something to be thankful for!

Random Recap

Yeah, yeah, I know I should just write about one tidbit per day during NaBloPoMo, but I've got all these thoughts in my head and, man, it's getting crowded in there!

Parent-teacher conferences were Wednesday and Thursday last week. I didn't have very many, which didn't surprise me now that I'm only in the classroom two hours per day, and one of those hours is only a marking period class. But I was still busy beyond all comprehension because this is when our book fair went on. We do it then so that we can get the parent traffic in, and did it ever pay off. Things were pretty slow earlier in the week, but we took in nearly $1500 on that last day of conferences. All told, we made enough to slide nicely into the 30% profit bracket, taking some in books and some in cash. Now I have to decide what to spend it on!

After conferences, we headed out for a night on the town, but the sheer quantity of drama took me back to summer nights on Midland Street. I finally couldn't take it anymore and ended up leaving early to watch one of my friends sing karaoke at a bar that was a lot closer to my house. Before the night was over, though, I drank more than I have since my class reunion (two shots?!?) and had quite the headache when I woke up Friday morning. A glass of water and two Tylenol later and I was back to bed for two more hours so that I could feel human again.

Friday was an errand day... oil change, hair cut, picking up a few things at the store. That pretty much did it. Saturday I've already reported on and Sunday was just a tad bit more productive.

Today was unseasonably warm when I left work, so I decided to finally make an attempt at cutting my grass. I only got the front yard done before it got too dark to go on, but it looks a lot better. I'll have to do it again when the rest of the leaves fall from my maple tree, but it will be just leaves now... the grass won't grow much more. I still need to do the backyard, but tomorrow is supposed to be an even better day. I'll get to it then.

The unsettling thing was how I actually had energy when I was done with the lawn! That's so unlike me! So I went for a run. I only did a mile, and I had to stop and catch my breath every quarter-mile, but I ran the entire mile, so I'm pretty proud. Not bad for not having done anything even remotely physical in over two weeks.

There are other thoughts, but I should save something for tomorrow!

Cop-Out Post

Sorry folks... I'm hoping this will be the only one, but it must be done. I have parent teacher conferences all day, then I have to pack up the book fair, and then I finally get to go out and play with my friends. I have no intention of being home before midnight and there's no way in Hell I would attempt to post from work after the Great Internet Witch Hunt of '06.

On the plus side, with the massive amounts of alcohol that I expect will be consumed tonight by me and my friends, there's bound to be an interesting post brewing for tomorrow.

Perhaps I Should Rethink This Sweater...

The scene: a middle school library in the midst of the fall book fair

The time: fifth grade lunch recess

The players: A stunningly attractive media specialist, her fabulous library aide, and numerous ten year olds.

The action: One of said ten year olds, a little boy with hair so blond it is nearly white, approaches the stunningly attractive media specialist and asks, "Are you Mrs. C-?"

"Yes," I reply, with hesitation, as this child should know darn well who I am, seeing as he has been coming to my library for the last nine weeks. I consider correcting him with, "Ms. C-" however, as "Mrs. C-" is my mother. I decide to let it go.

"I heard you were pregnant."

A stunned look of amusement pass between me and my aide while I successfully contain my hysterical laughter.

"Well, I'm not," I reply.

"Huh... I heard someone around here is," and with that, he turned and left the library.

Begin hysterical laughter.

I really wish it had been a seventh or eighth grader who asked, because I would have replied with something along the lines of, "What?!? How did you hear that?! No one was supposed to know!" but I really wouldn't feel right teasing a fifth grade boy with that.

And if only that were really the case. *sigh*

In Case You Were Hoping for Something Profound... Look Elsewhere

Honestly... I just got home a bit ago and was checking MySpace (damn MySpace... bane of my existence) when I remembered that I needed to post again today... crap!!!

Alright... today. Well, Fridays are the days I try to get stuff done in the library, but it usually doesn't happen because my aide leaves at noon. It was also another book fair day, so I had things to do for that, plus I had to draw and announce the winners for the MSU v. U-M reading contest. It's very strange to hear your own voice over the building PA system. I'm not at all like my predecessor, who could talk and talk until the PA finally cut her off, then she'd come back on just to say goodbye. But I think that's one of the things the staff likes about me.

And then it was off to choir practice, and it was a long one. It was so long I had to call my neighbor to let Copper out. I don't like to do that very often, but I think It's been a month or so since I have.

Tomorrow is the Michigan/Michigan State game. I think I'm going to watch it at a friend's house so that I have an excuse to drink during it. I love my Spartans, but man, can they ever stink it up on the football field.

GO GREEN! GO WHITE! GO STATE!!

From the Files of "What the Hell Was I Thinking?"

Two thoughts:

• Like the masochist that I am, I again enrolled in NaBloPoMo. I made it through last year, even in my last term of graduate school, so I should be able to do so again this year. Of course, I will admit (now that it's after the fact) to a wee bit of back-dating on days when I didn't quite make it in by midnight. So I'm going to try not to do that this year.
• I agreed to participate in the costume contest at work tomorrow. Staff members are dressing up as movie characters and there is a contest among the advisory classes to see which class can guess the most. There is also a prize for the costume that stumps the most classes. I'd tell you who I'm dressing up as, but then I'd have to kill you. Plus, my costume isn't quite finished yet. I put in about two hours on it last night and I might have another hour tonight, but I don't think a single kid will guess it. The only way will be if some English teacher helps their class cheat.

That's all for now. Have to save all my thoughts for Thursday and beyond.